


Hard Left Turn: Normandy

by Flyingicecreamtruck



Series: Hard Left Turn [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Thane Krios Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:19:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flyingicecreamtruck/pseuds/Flyingicecreamtruck
Summary: “I will not be parted from you again, Siha.” They had lost the better part of a year, and the gods only knew how much longer they had.





	1. Thane

**Author's Note:**

> A series of one shots that will take place on the Normandy, written as I think of them, so they will probably not be in any hard chronological order.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments so far!

Thane woke the next morning with a sense of anticipation that he had not felt since they had approached the Omega 4 relay. In a matter of hours the Normandy and its crew would once again head off into the unknown, to whatever fate awaited them. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. But whatever was to come, he and Shepard would face it side by side.

Next to him his Siha lay quiet, face relaxed in sleep. She had rolled onto her back sometime during the night, free arm flung out across the mattress. A small part of him wanted to press himself against her sleep warmed body, to wake her with quiet words and gentle caresses against that sensitive human skin he found so fascinating-

_“It is not an obsession.”_

_Quiet laughter in the semi-darkness, her smile lit by the soft blue glow of the fish tank. “Really? What is your hand doing right now?”_

_My fingers halt their lazy path along her bare leg. She laughs again._

-but that must wait. Glancing at the clock, Thane slid out of bed, careful to not disturb her. He had just under two hours before he was to meet Kolyat for the day. Quickly dressing in a loose tunic and pants, Thane walked out into the living area to begin his morning routine. After working the stiffness out of his limbs, Thane settled into a meditative pose, letting out a deep breath.

As his mind slowly drifted, a memory rose unbidden. _She trembles in my arms, hands clutching tightly. “What if it's true?”_

Thane's eyes snapped open, fists curling in rage. That his Siha had carried this fear...He had come to like Kaidan during their talks in the hospital, despite his initial misgivings. He had thought the other man an honorable sort. Kaidan had made mistakes with Shepard but Thane had made mistakes as well with Irikah and Kolyat. But this...what kind of man said something like that to the woman he loved?

With a noise of frustration, Thane thrust the memory aside, allowing another to surface. _Her warm body next to mine, breathing slow and even in sleep_. With that memory, Thane allowed his rage to flow from him and focus inward. Once he was done meditating, Thane rose smoothly and walked to the kitchen to make tea. As the water boiled, he ordered breakfast for both of them, putting Shepard's in the warmer until she woke.

As he ate, Thane browsed the news headlines. Nothing but Reaper activity was reported now; casualty reports, the latest planets to fall; useless projections of what might happen next. Though there had been a report a few days ago regarding the fall of Kar'shan. It had been the first to fall when the Reapers merged from dark space on their way to Earth. Due to the Batarian's isolation, no one had noticed until Earth had already fallen. Cold, hard numbers said the Batarian race would not recover.

Unnerved, Thane set his pad aside and finished his breakfast. He was washing out his teacup when he heard Shepard stir. He pulled her breakfast out of the warmer and arranged it on a tray before walking back into the bedroom. She smiled sleepily at him as he set her breakfast on the bedside table, pushing herself into a sitting position. “Good Morning,” she said through a yawn.

“Good Morning,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?” The dark circles under her eyes had faded somewhat and she did not seem so pale. Hopefully she had gotten enough sleep. Humans needed far more then Drell.

“Better. I don't think I woke up once.”

“You did not.” He cocked his head. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “A little.”

When she did not offer any more information, Thane changed the subject. Shepard would tell him when she was ready. “I have breakfast, if you are hungry.”

“Dinner and breakfast in bed? You're going to spoil me.” She reached for his hand, squeezing his fingers. “Thank you for last night. I needed that.”

“I will always be here for you, Siha. Whatever you may need.”

“Even if I ruin the romantic night you had planned?”

“Yes, even then,” he teased, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. “Do you need me to stay? I can delay my day with Kolyat, if needed.”

“No, go enjoy your time with him. I'm going to eat and take a shower and then go talk to Kaidan.”

With a nod, Thane stood and brought her the tray, before changing into his normal leathers. Sliding his omni-tool on to his wrist, Thane tucked his credit chit into his pocket and turned back to her. “What time should Kolyat and I meet you at the docking bay?” They would both be getting a tour of the newly retrofitted Normandy. Kolyat had come aboard with the medical team when he was transferred to Huerta Memorial, but there had been no time for pleasantries. As soon as he had disembarked, the Normandy had headed for Earth to begin their long separation.

“4 o'clock. Supplies start loading at 3, so I'll be there to oversee that. Just message me and I'll meet you at the airlock.”

“All right. We will see you at 4. I hope everything goes well with Kaidan.”

“I hope so too.” The sad smile she gave him nearly changed his mind. Thane could not help but press a kiss to the top of her head, forcing down the anger that twisted in his chest. Her smile turned warm. “Go. I'll see you later.”

He meets Kolyat with a few minutes to spare. They spend the morning at Armax Arsenel where, on their second round, Kolyat beats his personal best. After that, they go to lunch at a small cafe in Zakera Ward and browse the shops. Unsure of when they would be back in port, Thane purchased several last minute items and lets Kolyat pick out a new scope for his pistol.

Soon enough, it is nearly time to meet Shepard. As they walk back to his apartment, the Galactic News Network switches to talk of the War Summit that will take place in 36 hours.

“Do you think the summit will work, Father? No one has ever attempted such a thing before.”

“Urdnot Wrex will be there. He and Shepard are old friends. They served together on the first Normandy. And it bodes well that Primarch Victus was willing to leave Palavan to attend. The Salarian Dalatrass will be there as well. I am hopeful.” There had been no word from the Asari government however. It was odd.

“I am hopeful as well. I think if anyone can pull it off, it is Commander Shepard.”

_She is the only one that can._ It was a troubling thought. Shepard was right, if the entire galaxy did not unite against the Reapers, all life would end. He did not doubt his Siha, but would the rest of the galaxy see reason? They must.

“It is good to hear you say so.” Kolyat had been furious when he was told of his and Shepard's relationship. _You are betraying Mother!_ His son had not spoken to him for a week afterwards. Thane had been heartsick the entire time. Had he destroyed the tentative foundation of their relationship that had begun to form? But Kolyat had finally come to him, head bowed, and apologized.

“Based on our first meeting, I did not expect her to be so kind, Father. She did not have to ask my permission for you to leave. We had already discussed it.”

“You are my son, Kolyat.” Thane said as they reached his apartment. “Shepard understands that.” Thane sensed there was more Kolyat wanted to say but his son did not speak again until they had finished some last minute packing. He stacked his gear by the door and ordered a taxi to take them to the docking bay. His omni-tools beeped a confirmation: 20 minutes.

“I will miss you, Father, but I understand that you must go.” Kolyat said as they carried Thane's gear into the lobby. “Commander Shepard will need the best at her side. She did not look well last night. Is she all right?” Before Thane could answer, Kolyat's throat pulsed slightly. “Please don't tell her I said that! I know it is rude to comment on a human's appearance.”

Despite his own lingering worry for Shepard's health, Thane could not help an amused chuckle at the panic in Kolyat's voice. “She would not be angry at you, but I will not mention it.”

Kolyat looked relived. “Thank you.”

Thane's omni-tool beeped again, signaling the taxi had arrived. It was a quick trip to the docking bay. Kolyat unloaded his gear as Thane sent Shepard a message that they had arrived. She appeared quickly, another human woman beside her.

“You made it,” she said with a warm smile. “Hey Kolyat.” She indicated the woman next to her. “Let me introduce Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor, one of Joker's kidnapping victims. She's been an invaluable asset. She was the one that deciphered the signal that let us rescue Jack and her students. Specialist Traynor; Thane Krios and his son Kolyat.”

“It's an honor to meet you both. I've studied the Collector mission extensively, Sere. Your skills will be invaluable as well.”

Thane inclined his head. “Thank you. I look forward to our journey together.”

Shepard grinned at him and motioned to the footlocker at Kolyat's feet. “You can leave your gear with Traynor. She'll make sure it gets stowed properly.” He nodded and set his duffle bag on top of his footlocker. “We'll start the tour in the shuttle bay. The Alliance moved the armory back down there. You can leave your weapons with Cortez. And if I make Vega wait anymore, he may explode.”

“An odd choice of phrase.” Thane said as he picked up his weapons case.

As they walked down the ramp towards the Normandy's airlock, he glanced over at Shepard. How had her visit with Kaidan gone? She did not look upset. Now was not the time to discuss it however.

All thoughts of Kaidan quickly left his thoughts as the door slid closed behind them. Thane's senses were filled with the familiar sights and sounds of the Normandy. A flood of memories threatened to overtake him: _Meditation with Samara, late night talks with Kasumi, Joker's laughter in the mess hall, weapons training with Garrus, Mordin singing his patter songs, Miranda holding out the data pad...I haven't told Shepard about this. It's your choice..._

He had had no home for 10 years, no purpose, until a human woman had barreled into his life, forcing him to live again. On board the Normandy, he had found his purpose and a home of sorts. He had made friends; first Shepard, and then the rest of the crew. Later, his heart had begun to quicken as he had fought at Shepard's side. To his astonishment, she had returned his affection and their love had blossomed here.

A warm hand slipped into his. “Good Memories?” His Siha whispered with a smile.

He squeezed her fingers as they made their way to the lift. As the lift descended, she pressed herself against his arm, not letting go of his hand. Kolyat stared politely ahead, not looking over.

“Esteban, will you look at this?” Thane heard as the doors opened to the shuttle bay. Two human men stood in front of them. He recognized the more heavily muscled one: James, Shepard had called him. Shepard laughed, letting go of his hand. “Oh, come on! Let me get a picture, at least.”

“I think you've got enough blackmail material with Joker's little stunt yesterday. Thane, this is James Vega. He was my security detail during my house arrest.”

The other man grinned and stuck out a hand. “It's good to meet you.”

Thane is not quite sure what to make of the boisterous human male but he is grateful that Shepard had someone to look after her during her incarceration. “You have my thanks.” he said, shaking the proffered hand.

“De nada. It's an honor to serve with the Commander.” He turned to the man next to him. “Hear that? He likes me already.”

“As if your ego needs anymore inflating, Mr. Vega.” Though the other man's tone was teasing and he offered a warm smile, Thane could see heavy grief in every line of his body. “Steve Cortez, shuttle pilot. I also maintain the armory. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sere.”

Thane dipped his head in acknowledgment as Shepard motioned to Kolyat. “And this is his son, Kolyat. He works in C-Sec.”

Kolyat shook both their hands. “I'm pleased to meet you both. I know Commander Shepard only travels with the best.”

“Damn right, Kid.”

“All right, we've got a lot more ground to cover before departure.”

Thane hands his weapons case to Cortez and follows Shepard back into the lift. She takes him and Kolyat through the rest of the ship, introducing them to new crew members and answering any questions Kolyat has. The hours fly by and soon enough it is time for Kolyat to disembark.

A small crowd is waiting in the lobby when he and Shepard escort Kolyat off. Jack threatens him with bodily harm if he does not take care of himself and Shepard. He merely chuckles and wishes her and her students well in their upcoming deployment.

As she leaves, Commander Bailey pulls him aside, glancing over to where Kolyat stands with Shepard and several of Jack's students. “I know you'll worry regardless, but I'll keep an eye on him for you.”

“Thank you Commander. I appreciate that. Your friendship has meant much to me these last few months.”

“Likewise. Take care of yourself out there.” They shake hands before the Commander departs.

Shepard walked over, Kolyat beside her. “It's time to go. I'll give you two some privacy.”

He and Kolyat had already said their goodbyes but his son pulls him aside briefly. “I just want you to know that I am proud of you, Father. I pray to Arashu for your protection and to Amonkira that you will always take your prey.”

_This is Irikah's child_ , Thane thinks, moved. “Thank you, Kolyat. Your prayers will strengthen me in the days to come. I will write when I am able.”

“Goodbye for now, Father.” With that, Kolyat turned and left the docking bay.

He can feel Shepard's concern as she walks towards him. When he turns, there is a stubborn look on her face. “I will miss him, of course,” he says before she can ask, “but Kolyat has found his path. I must allow him to follow it. How will he build confidence if I am to walk it with him?”

“Fair enough.” Shepard said as they walk back into the Normandy. “You ready for this?”

“To fight at your side again? Always.” The hatch shut behind them and a thrill went through him. _To the hunt_. The Reapers were waiting.

She grinned and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I'm headed to the bridge. I'll find you later.”

Knowing it will be an hour or two before she is free, Thane heads down to the Med Bay to greet Dr. Chakwas and offer his help. She presses a data pad into his hands and he checks off items as she calls them out. After stocking the cabinets and drawers to her specifications, he moves the rest of the crates into the small stock room and begins to empty them.

Footsteps sound behind him. Thane does not turn as Shepard enters the small room and squeezes herself in between his body and the shelf. Her smile turns wicked as he sets the package of bandages in his hand on the shelf behind her and brackets her body with his arms.

“Hello, Handsome. You come here often?” She cocked her head in that odd way that he had observed in other human women when faced with the object of their affection. Human flirting was very amusing.

“Yes, I used to quite often.” She looked delighted that he was playing along. “But I have been away for some time. Medical issues.”

“Lung transplant?” she asked, gently touching the thin scar on his chest, eyes flicking up to make sure she wasn't hurting him. The incision no longer hurt but would occasionally twinge as the muscle repaired itself. He hummed an affirmative.

“I've got a few hours free. Why don't we-” Her voice cracked. Thane glanced at her in concern, but he realized she was trying not to laugh. “Why don't we go test out-I'm sorry. I can't even finish that sentence. It's so bad,” she said, dissolving into laughter. She wrapped her arms around him, tilting her face towards him.

With Jack's warning ringing in his ears, he forced himself not to give into temptation. “Siha, it has been 7 months. My venom-”

“It's fine. I just had the Doc load me up with anti-” That broke the last of his self-control. He crushed his mouth to hers, a low growl rumbling through him as Shepard's tongue slid against his own; her taste settling on his tongue and sending the first sparks of arousal through him.

Shepard broke the kiss with a gasp as one of his hands crept down to squeeze her rounded human buttocks; so different from what he knew. For a moment they both stood panting, Thane admiring the flush on her cheeks. She grinned at him, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. “I can't believe we're in a supply closet like a pair of horny teenagers. Come on.”

Grabbing his hand, she lead him out of the closet and towards the door. Dr. Chakwas did not look up from the chart she was studying but Thane can feel her smirk all the way to the lift. As soon as the doors shut behind them, Thane pressed her against wall, his mouth finding hers again.

“EDI,” Shepard gasped as his lips moved to her neck, hands creeping under her shirt to caress her warm skin, “Don't you dare let this lift stop any where but our quarters.”

“Affirmative.”

A heartbeat later the doors opened and they stumbled out, stripping each other as they moved across the room, collapsing together on the bed.

_The memories of you will never be enough_ , he had written to her, laying his heat bare. No memory could compare to the feel of her body against his; the way her hands clutched at him as he caressed all those well remembered places; the sound of his name as she squirmed and panted under his hands; or the taste of her on his tongue.

Senses long dulled by illness flared to life as warmth flooded his tongue. Arousal sparked along his spine as Shepard cried out, hips jerking against his mouth. He plunged his tongue deeper before moving to circle the sensitive nub atop her sex. Grabbing her hips to keep her still, he kept that rhythm until her legs began to tremble and she pushed at his head.

“Please,” she panted.

Thane reluctantly pulled back and reached across her, opening the drawer and pulling out the package of thin rubber gloves that would allow him to safely give her what she wanted. Slipping on one, he gently nudged her legs further apart before returning to his task.

His finger slid easily into her. Her legs were restless around him as he moved it in and out of her until she whispered for more. Thane could see a flush crawling up her chest and knew his Siha was close to release. He gently pulled his hand away before pressing his fused fingers inside her, curling them to find that spot inside her.

As her back arched and she cried out, Thane lowered his head back between her legs, wrapping his lips around her clitoris and sucking gently. A moment later her release broke over her, inner muscles fluttering around his fingers. Harsh cry lingering in his ears, Thane pulled back and tossed the glove away before moving up Shepard's body. The pressure in his groin was mounting; it would only take a gentle touch for his cock to unsheathe, but he ignored it in favor of pressing himself against Shepard.

A breathless laugh sounded in his ear dimple. “Am I the good kind of warm now?”

While his own body temperature was slightly higher then average, due to his biotics; Shepard's higher human body temperature, amplified by her own biotics, was made even warmer by her physical release. He let out a low rumble of contentment as he pressed his face into her neck. For a moment Thane lets himself bask, tongue flicking out to taste the sweat on her skin, senses awash in the taste and feel of her.

Warm, clever fingers traced his head spines before traveling down his back until they reached the sensitive frills that sat atop his hips. Thane lifted his hips at the slight pulse of pressure as his cock finally unsheathed. But his groan of relief turned into a grunt of discomfort as the gentle curl of her fingers around him grated across his nerves. Thane jerked away reflexively, grabbing her hand as she gasped out an apology. “No, you did nothing wrong.” He let go of her hand as he moved off her and sat up.

Shepard followed him, a worried look on her face. He took a deep breath, allowing his nerves to settle. “I did not anticipate how dulled my senses had become. Now that I am well...”

Realization dawned on her face. “You're overstimulated,” she said, relieved. He nodded, taking her hand. “Okay, do we need to stop?”

“Not at all. I just need a few moments.” He laid back down, curling on his side and pulled her down next to him. Pressing a kiss to her hand, he tucked it against his chest.

Shepard smiled as she ran her thumb against his scar. “You don't know what it means to me that you're here, Thane.” she whispered, “I don't think I could do this without you.”

Thane met those green eyes he loved so much. They reminded him of the Encompassing after a storm. Irikah had been the sunset; beautiful and steadfast, but Shepard was the sea; no less beautiful, but wild and untamed. “I will not be parted from you again, Siha.” They had lost the better part of a year, and the gods only knew how much longer they had. He will live or die at her side.

Shepard smiled and shifted until their faces were inches apart. Her free hand came up to touch the diamond pattern on his forehead, and then trailed down his nose before her thumb brushed across his mouth. “In all the excitement, I never thanked you for your letters. They were beautiful. I wish I had been able to give you something too, but the Alliance...” she sighed and shook her head. “Tell me some of your favorite memories.”

“There were so many. The sound of your laughter, the smell of your hair.” He reached out to wrap a strand of dark hair around his finger and suppressed a smile. “The way your thighs tremble around my head when I-”

“Thane!” A deep flush spread across her face, but she was laughing as she pressed her face into his chest. With a laugh of his own, Thane slipped a hand under her hip and rolled onto his back, using the momentum to move her on top of him. She leaned over him, arms braced on either side of his head. “You are very good at that, especially for someone who had never heard of such a thing.”

He could not help but feel slightly smug. “I have an excellent memory, Siha.”

She laughed and sat up straight. “I do love that memory of yours. EDI,” she said, glancing up at the ceiling,” Let me know when we hit the relay. Otherwise I don't want to be disturbed.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Thank you.” She turned back to him with a grin, stretching out on top of him. “Now, let's see how good my memory is.”


	2. Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thane Krios? Thane Krios, the foremost assassin in the galaxy, is...Commander Shepard's boyfriend?”

He was day dreaming about eating an entire coconut cream pie from Alexander's Bakery on the Citadel when EDI's voice snapped him out of it.

“I am receiving an incoming message from Thane.”

Joker sat up, startled. Why was Thane calling the bridge directly? If he had wanted to talk to Shepard, he would have called her. Had something happened on the Citadel?

He reached up to flip on the view screen. “Thane? It's Joker. Is everything okay?”

“Joker, it is good to see you. I hope I have not interrupted something. Shepard was supposed to call an hour ago to let me know your arrival time, and she has not responded to the email I sent.”

As Thane appeared on the screen, Joker peered closely at him. The last time he had spoken to Thane was the morning of his surgery, when the whole crew had gone to wish him luck. Thankfully the surgery had been a success and they were able to transfer him to the Citadel before returning to Earth.

“Uh, no. Everything's fine here. We're headed your way...ETA one hour and 26 minutes. EDI?”

“One moment.” There was a brief pause. “Commander Shepard's brain waves indicate she is in a REM sleep cycle. I can wake her if you wish but I would not recommend it. I have recorded abnormal sleep cycles and she seems to be suffering from early stages of-”

“Thank you!” He quickly cut her off as Thane frowned. Joker swung his chair around to face EDI. “I'm guessing Cerberus didn't program you with medical ethics?”

EDI turned to look at him. It was still weird seeing a physical body connected to EDI's voice but he was not going to complain about it, not when she looked like that. “They did not.” There was another pause. “I see. I will update my programming.” She stood and moved to stand behind his chair. “I apologize, Thane. I did not mean to worry you further.”

“Ah, EDI. Shepard mentioned you had acquired a body. It is good to see you. There is no reason to wake her. I will meet you in the docking bay once the Normandy has docked.”

So that was why Shepard had been walking around the ship yesterday with a ridiculous grin on her face. And she wouldn't have been so happy if Thane had not said he would be leaving with them. He suppressed a grin. “So...how are you feeling? Good? You look good.”

Thane inclined his head with a small smile. “I am well, thank you. There have been no complications from the transplant and I have been given a clean bill of health from my doctors.”

“Oh good. That means you're coming with us, right?” Thane opened his mouth to reply, but he held up a hand. “So, you should know that I've got a ship full of kidnapped Alliance personnel. It wouldn't be too much trouble to kidnap one more.”

“I cannot recommend this course of action, Jeff. To kidnap a member of a foreign government would invite-”

Joker rolled his eyes at EDI. “Relax. We'll think of something to tell the Hanar. It'll be fine.”

Thane let out the low rasping sound that was the Drell equivalent of laughter. “It is good to see you, Joker. I look forward to traveling with you again.” 

“Thanks,” Joker said, touched. He had been terrified of Thane when he had first come aboard during the Collector mission. The Assassin could have picked them off one by one, with no one the wiser, but once he had gotten to know Thane, it was clear he was a good guy. And he was good for Shepard. “I'm glad you're coming with us. Oh, and I'm not going to tell Shepard we talked. It'll be a surprise when we dock.”

One of Thane's eye ridges rose and Joker fought the urge to laugh. He'd seen that look on Shepard's face at least once a day since they'd met. “She does not like surprises.”

“Yeah, bad ones, but this is a good one. She'll love it. And it will be good for her morale.”

“Perhaps you are right,” Thane said with a glance at EDI. “Very well. I will defer to your judgment on this.”

“Awesome. I'll tell the others. We could all use a morale boost.”

“I saw the footage from Earth. I am sorry.”

He had never really understood the phrase “bowel-clenching terror” until he had gotten a front row, panoramic view of the Reaper Invasion. One moment he had been on the bridge feeding EDI instructions, Campbell and Westmoreland watching closely; the next moment the Normady's alarms had begun to sound and EDI's voice had turned his insides to water: “Reapers Inbound. All hands to Battle Stations.” It was the only thing he saw behind closed eyes when he tried to sleep. 

Joker cleared his throat and thrust the memory aside. “So, we'll see you when we dock?”

Thane nodded. “Yes. Farewell until then.”

“Can you call the others up here?” Joker asked EDI as he closed the comm link. As he waited, he grinned to himself. This was going to be awesome.

“What going on?” Jack said as she barged onto the bridge, followed by Garrus and Liara. Behind them were Vega and Traynor.

He shot a look at EDI but she was unfazed. “Lt. Vega was Shepard's security and she considers him a friend. Specialist Traynor is handling all of Shepard's affairs and will need to know of their relationship.”

“Relationship?” Garrus asked. His mandibles twitched. “Did something happen to Thane?”

“No! Everything's fine. I just got finished talking to him. Shepard fell asleep and missed a scheduled call with him. He wanted to make sure everything was all right.” He laughed at the evil grin on Jack's face. “Yeah, we're not telling her that Thane and I talked. He's going to meet us when we dock.”

“Yes! Everyone better take videos.”

“Are you sure that's wise?” Liara asked, a frown on her face. “Shepard does not like surprises.”

Joker groaned. “Bad ones! She doesn't like bad ones! Obviously this is a good one.” 

“Oh, fine.” Liara folded her arms and glared at the floor.

Vega glanced from Liara to Garrus and then to him. “What's going on? Who's Thane?”

Traynor's eyes went wide. “Thane Krios? The Drell assassin that was with you on the Collector mission?”

“No way.” Vega's mouth dropped open. “Thane Krios? Thane Krios, the foremost assassin in the galaxy, is...Commander Shepard's boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend is such an odd word,” Garrus interjected, “Humans are so poetic, you'd think you could find a better word.”

“Wait, then who was that guy on Mars?” Vegas asked, ignoring Garrus. “Kaidan, I think she called him? Something weird was going on.”

Guilt surged through him at the mention of Kaidan. They had barely spoken since Shepard's funeral three years ago. Kaidan blamed him for Shepard's death. He had never said anything, or done anything to him, but every time the other man looked at him, Joker could see it in his eyes.

“It's best if you don't mention Kaidan,” Garrus said with a glance at him.

Vega glanced between him and Garrus and winced. “Got it. No mentioning the ex. But still...Holy Shit. Thane Krios! I gotta tell Esteban.”

“Fine, but tell him to keep this quiet. I don't want anyone ruining this. EDI and I will keep her distracted until we dock.”

“I'll find something to delay Primarch Victus.”

“I'm going to have the kids make a banner. Do you think “Have Good Sex” is too subtle?”

Vega roared with laughter as Joker rolled his eyes at Jack. “I'm sure that would go over well. All of you, get off my bridge and remember: try not to blow it.”

Of course, in the end, Garrus nearly does.


	3. Thane

“Commander, we are about to hit the Pranas relay. You now have 78 minutes until the rendezvous with the diplomatic fleet.”

Thane was startled out of his post-coital doze by EDI's voice. Next to him, Shepard stirred, stretching with a groan of satisfaction, before draping herself across his chest, so he couldn't move.

“Five more minutes.” With a laugh, Thane shifted until he caught her mouth with his own. Shepard deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling back with a sigh. “Don't tempt me like that. All I want to do is lie here with you.”

“One day, Siha. When this is all over.”

“Yeah.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before climbing out of bed. “One day.”

He watched her stand, admiring her naked form as she walked to the bathroom. As the shower turned on, he sat up and glanced over at the closed door. One day he will join her in the shower, simply for the novelty of it. But that too would have to wait. He cannot risk any setback to his health.

“How many times do you think I need to shower before Wrex won't be able to smell what we've been doing?” Shepard called through the door.

That sent a thrill of possessiveness through him. “Given the highly sensitive nature of a Krogan's olfactory senses, I do not believe that is possible,” he said as she came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, letting a growl enter his voice. She gave him a heated smile but moved past the bed to the small closet and pulled out her dress uniform.

Reluctantly, Thane climbed out of bed, pulling out a fresh pair of clothes and cleaning solution from his footlocker. EDI's voice broke over the comm as he straightened. “You may safely use the bathroom, should you wish. Per Shepard's request, I have calibrated the bathroom vent to operate at 105% capacity. Garrus was able to push it to 110%. You should have no issue with any humidity.”

“Thank you, EDI. I will have to thank Garrus as well.” Once cleaned and dressed, he emerged to find Shepard at her desk, frowning at a data pad. “Would you like me to have food sent up?”

“No, I have a call with Admiral Hackett in 15. I'll grab something after that. There is something I need you to do, though.”

“Of course.” He said as she stood, a different data pad in hand.

“You'll recall the conversation we had about Next of Kin?” He nodded, taking the data pad as she held it out. Human medical information was held in the strictest confidence. By making him her next of kin, he would be kept informed of of any treatment she underwent and he would be responsible for her care if she were unconscious and could not consent. They had planned on formalizing everything, in case there were any complications from his surgery, but Aratoht had changed that. “I've had Dr. Chakwas draw up the proper paperwork. I just need you to sign it.” With a deep breath, she leaned against him, and flipped past the first set of paperwork. “Attached to that is a copy of my living will and instructions on what to do if something happens to me.”

_Nothing will happen to you. I will not allow it._ If she falls in battle, it will not be because he failed to protect her, but because he is already dead. But that is not what she needs to hear and her wishes must be respected. “ I will do as you ask, Siha.”

“Thank you. I've discussed all of this with the Doc, so if you have questions, she can answer them.” She pressed another kiss to his lips. “I'm sorry about the mood whiplash.” The look of confusion on his face made her laugh and promise to explain later. He watched as she gathered up her notes. “Wish me luck.”

“You do not need luck. I know you will succeed.”

With a warm smile, Shepard left the cabin, leaving him alone with a data pad he did not want to read. After watching the fish for several moments to settle his mind, he brewed a cup of tea and settled at the small desk near the bed that he had claimed for his own. He flipped past the legal document that he needed to sign, saving that for last. The next page contained a note from Dr. Chakwas: _Thane, under human law, a person is considered legally dead when the brain loses all function. Organs may still function for a time, but without brain function, a body will ultimately break down._

That was horrific; to keep a body functioning after it was dead. An image rose unbidden: Shepard's body, bent and broken, face slack, devoid of any life or warmth. Thane pushed the pad away with a noise of distress, and it was several minutes before he forced himself to pick it back up and continue reading.

He flipped to the next page. It showed why Dr. Chakwas had included her note: Shepard did not wish to be kept alive by artificial means, should she be badly injured. She would also begin voluntary psych evaluations to be sure she was fit for command and to safeguard against indoctrination. If it were found that she was indoctrinated, Dr. Chakwas would relieve her of command and EDI would surrender the Normandy into Admiral Hackett's custody.

As for Shepard herself, if she were to be relieved of duty, for any reason, was to be locked securely away, where she would not be able to compromise the ship or the war. If she were to die, Shepard wanted her body cremated, so that it could not be used again.

_No._ Pad in hand, Thane left his quarters and went directly to MedBay.

“Thane, what can I do for-ah, I see.” Dr. Chakwas said as he entered, catching sight of the data pad in his hand. “I suspect you have questions.” She stood and gestured to her desk chair, before pulling over another.

He only had one. “What must I do to see her through this?”

Humans were stubborn creatures; they could push themselves far beyond what was rational to achieve their goal, and Shepard was more stubborn then most. He did not doubt she would lead them to victory over the Reapers, but what would it cost? Like Drell, Humans could get lost in traumatic memories, and their health could suffer. He does not want that fate for Shepard.

Dr. Chakwas studied him for a moment. Finally, she sighed. “Thane, I don't want to alarm you, but there is not much any of us can do for her in the long run. The entire galaxy is looking to her to save it and this is already taking its toll on her. It will only get worse.”

Thane bowed his head, breath catching in his throat. “Is there nothing to be done?” There must be something he can do for her.

“As a crew, we must stand with her and give her a strong support system. One thing you can do is make sure she is getting enough sleep. I can't stress enough how important it is for humans to get enough sleep.”

_I know this already._ Thane thought, in disappointment. _That does not help me._

Dr. Chakwas gave him a sad smile, understanding his silence. “I'm sorry I can't be of more help.”

"Thank you for your time.” After signing the legal documents and handing them over to Dr. Chakwas, Thane left MedBay and made his way to Life Support, heart heavy in his chest. The familiar hum was soothing as he knelt in prayer.

_Merciful Arashu, Mother of us all, guide your Siha to victory. Kalahira, Mistress of Inscrutable Depths, let me be as tireless as your waves that wear down stone and sand. Do not let my steps falter. Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift; that I may remain faithfully at her side._

_I knows my place._ He had strayed too far from Irikah's side and it had cost her life.

He will not fail Shepard.


	4. Kaidan

“Thane.”

The jealousy that churned through Kaiden left him breathless, as Dr. Chakwas motioned for Thane to enter MedBay. As he watched, Thane bent over Shepard's prone form, hand touching her hair. One of Shepard's hands came up, catching his fingers-

With a silent curse, he turned away, sucking in a deep breath. For the hundredth time, Kaidan wondered what madness had made him ask to be reinstated to the Normandy. The position Admiral Hackett offered was a good one and he would have made a difference there. But, that wasn't what he had wanted. He wanted back on the Normandy.

When he approached Shepard, he half expected be turned down. Despite his hopes, Shepard had made it clear that she had moved on with someone else, and that someone was on the Normandy with her. Thane, she told him, but didn't elaborate further.

It wasn't until Shepard had burst out the Council elevator, followed by Liara and the green scaled Drell from Huerta Memorial, that he had understood. Drell were a rare sight outside of Kahje, yet he had not made the connection between the Drell recovering from a lung transplant, who said he was waiting for his lover to return from war, and the assassin that rumor said Shepard was dating.

Maybe he hadn't wanted to.

He had debated with himself dozens of time before approaching Shepard. It didn't matter if Thane was on the Normandy with her; he had been there at the beginning of this war, and he wanted to see it through. But he had been fooling himself. Every time he saw the two of them together, it made his stomach burn with jealousy.

Coupled with that was the resentment that Thane, or Tannor Nuara, as he had introduced himself, had know who he was the entire time. Though Thane had apologized for his deception, the memory still rankled. While he had never mentioned Shepard by name, Kaidan had confessed everything-

“Major.” He glanced over to see Dr. Chakwas motioning to him from the MedBay door.

“How is she?” he asked, as he hurried over. He could see Shepard through the window. It looked like she was asleep. Thane sat next to her, one of her hands in both of his.

“She'll be fine, with rest. I'll keep her for a few more hours of observation and then let her go back to her quarters.” Opening her omni-tool, Dr. Chawkas typed in a command and a moment later his own beeped. “After that, I'm putting her on 48 hour bed rest. You'll officially be in command until further notice.”

With a sigh of relief, he nodded and flipped open his own omni-tool to acknowledge the official medical order. Even more startling than Shepard agreeing to have him on board, was her offer of the XO position. He had accepted eagerly, just happy to be back where he belonged. “Thanks, Doc. Let me know if I can do anything.”

Liara had taken over the XO office with her ShadowBroker equipment, so he had set up in a small corner of the Starboard Lounge. But tonight he bypassed it, heading for the bar in the Port side lounge. Pouring himself a drink, he moved to the window, staring out into space, as he tried to process the emotions still swirling around in his chest.

The Normady had come to Despoinia 8121 on the trail of the Leviathan. 6 hours ago, upon entering the atmosphere, the shuttle had disappeared along with its crew. Several seconds before they had lost contact, EDI had alerted them to strange energy reading. All attempts at contacting the shuttle had failed. Though everything in him screamed to find Shepard and the others, he could not risk the Normandy to the energy signature. So they simply had to wait.

Thane had not taken the news well, when Kaidan had called him up to the bridge. Thane had paced the confines of the bridge, until Joker snapped at him that Thane wasn't helping his nerves. After that, as the hours crawled by, Thane stood silently on the bridge. Every so often, Kaidan would glance over at him, watching the Drell's eyes flicker. He got the sense that, even though his body was present, Thane's mind was somewhere else.

With a sigh, Kaidan took a sip of his drink and pressed his forehead against the window. Hearing Cortez's frantic mayday ( _Shepard is down and unresponsive. We need Dr. Chakwas standing by_ ) brought everything back. The Collector attack, Shepard ordering him off the ship as she went for Joker, the relief he felt when the last escape pod had made it off the Normandy, and the utter blankness that had seized him when only Joker had been found inside.

He downed the rest of his drink and walked back to the bar to get another. As he reached for a bottle, he heard the door open behind him. The lack of footsteps meant it could only be one person.

_Of course_. “How is she?” he asked, without turning around.

“Asleep.” Thane said, as the door shut behind him. “Dr. Chakwas assures me that her body temperature is now within normal limits and suggested that I step out for a moment to clear my head. I did not mean to disturb you.”

“No, it's fine.” he said, pushing aside him empty glass and turning to study Thane. He and Shepard had had some kind of argument in the shuttle bay, resulting in Thane being left behind, even though he had been with Shepard from the beginning of the mission. (“Something about the planet being all ocean. I didn't stick around for the details.” Vega said, when pressed for details.)

“Are you alright?” That caught Thane completely off guard. Dark eyes studied him for several moments before he made an odd rasping sound. “I suspect I am doing as well as you are.” Thane crossed to the window and stood staring out, hands clasped behind his back. “I understand what Lt. Cortez reported, yet I find myself so angry at her, I am unable to concentrate.”

Kaidan couldn't help the laugh that burst out of him. “I'm sorry,” he said as Thane turned to look at him, “I'm not laughing at you. I just know that feeling well.”

Thane gave him a small smile. “Yes, I suppose you would.”

He remembers Horizon and the rage that had swept through him when he'd seen her standing there in that damned Cerberus uniform. _It's a Cerberus trick_ , he'd thought. Even then, he'd been unable to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her. She'd _felt_ real. It nearly broke his resolve. But Shepard, the real Shepard, would never have put him through two years of hell; would have tried to contact him and not shown up out of the blue, Garrus in tow. How could the Turian fall for it?

So he'd turned away, refusing to acknowledge the crushed look on her face. That wasn't the woman he loved. And by the time he understood what had really happened, it was too late.

He glanced over at Thane, who had turned back to the window; the burning sensation flaring in his stomach again. He made Shepard happy, everyone could see it. He should have been happy for her, but it hurt too much. A dozen different things he could have said flitted through his mind. After a moment, he sighed. Now wasn't the time for his petty jealousy. “You wouldn't have been able to stop her, even if you were there.”

“That is true enough. Once Shepard sets her mind to something, nothing can dissuaded her.” Thane turned from the window and moved to one of the chairs near the bar. “I don't think any of us expected to return from beyond the Omega 4 relay, but through sheer force of will, she brought us home.”

“I should have been there.” The words slipped out before he could stop them. Thane turned those dark eyes on him but didn't say anything. He didn't have too. Kaidan could feel the other man's silent rebuke.

The two of them had never truly addressed the tension between each other. They had simply given each other a wide berth, acknowledging each other when their paths crossed. Well, now seemed as good a time as any.

“Shepard told me that you knew I would ask to be reassigned to the Normandy.”

“Our paths did not cross on the Citadel by accident, Major. Once I knew who you were, I understood that we would be traveling together, whether I willed it or not.”

Now it was his turn to be caught off guard. “You don't want me here, but you agreed to it any way?” That actually made him feel slightly better.

“What I want is irrelevant.” Thane's throat flushed a deep red. What did that mean? Had he touched a nerve in the Drell? “Shepard must be surrounded by those who care for her and will support her through this war. I-” Thane broke off abruptly and took a deep breath, some of the color fading from his throat. “It is for her sake that I agreed and why I would have peace between us.”

_That's not what you were going to say_. But Thane was right. The two of them could not walk around acting like jealous cavemen. It would interfere with ship discipline and moral. And Shepard would murder them both. He let out another laugh. Thane raised an eyeridge at him, questioning.

“Can you imagine what Shepard would do if there were any kind of male posturing from either of us?”

Thane made another one of those rasping noises. “I certainly can. She is a Siha after all.”

“I've heard you call her that. What does it mean?”

Thane gave him a small smile. “One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. A tenacious protector. But also fierce in their wrath.”

“That's Shepard, all right,” he said with another laugh. A semi-comfortable silence fell between them for several moments before he decided to go for broke. “May I be as blunt?”

“Of course, Major.”

“Shepard is happy with you, and for that I'm grateful, but personally? I can't stand the sight of you. It's all too raw.”

For a moment, Kaidan thought he might have gone too far, but Thane simply acknowledged his confession with a nod of his head. “Were our positions reversed, I would feel the same.” The Drell stood, glancing at the door. “I should return before she wakes. Thank you for the conversation. It has been enlightening.”

“No problem. I'm glad we were able to talk.”

With a small bow, Thane left the lounge. As he did, Kaidan glanced past him into the hallway. Several crew members scattered like cockroaches as the door opened. With a shake of his head, Kaidan stood and followed Thane, glancing over into the mess hall, where the crew members, including Vega, stood nonchalantly discussing rumors of the new Blasto movie.

Before they could mob him with questions, he held up a hand. “Shepard will be fine, she just needs to get some rest.” He waited for the storm of emotion to pass before pinning Vega with a glance. “I don't appreciate the eavesdropping, Lieutenant.”

“Uh, no Sir. I apologize. It's none of our business.”

“Correct. Back to your posts, all of you. I'll be in the CIC if anyone needs me.”

“Yes, Sir!” With salutes, the crew scattered.

Detouring to pick up his data pad, Kaidan headed for the bridge. As the lift rose, he smiled to himself. That had gone better than he expected. He and Thane at least understood each other, even if he didn't think they would ever be friends.

But it was a start.


	5. Shepard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos so far!
> 
> Next up: Earth :/
> 
> 2/4/19: Edited to correct chapter name. This is a Shepard chapter, not a Thane. Oops!

She was so absorbed in Hackett's report, that she didn't hear Thane until he was standing next to her.

“How's Kolyat?” she asked, absently, as she read through the report for a third time.

“He and the other refugees from the Citadel are settling in well. The Krogan children have appointed themselves their tutors and are helping them get acclimated to Tuchanka. Kolyat sends his greeting, as does Urdnot Bakara.”

“That's good” Setting down Hackett's report, she picked up Anderson's. The screen swam in front of her eyes. She blinked dry eyes, trying to focus. That made the headache she had been ignoring rear its head. _Damn it_.

Thane's hand settled on her shoulder. “I have food. You must eat.”

His tone was mild but it sent a flash of anger through her. It took effort not to pull away. She didn't need to eat. She needed to focus. “I keep running the numbers to make sure I haven't missed anything.” All cells on Earth were converging on London, Anderson reported. It was now a waiting game until the Crucible reached Earth.

Her headache crawled up the left side of her skull. The Crucible. Now that it was nearly time for it to be deployed, she was having serious doubts.

_The scientists thought it might ignite the atmosphere, but they did it any way_.

A shudder went through her. What the fuck were they doing, putting all their hopes on a weapon that could destroy everything? The data pad slipped from her fingers, hitting the desk with a clatter. “Shit.” It was all pressing down on her at once. If this insane plan didn't work, everything would end.

“Siha?” Thane crouched next to her, fingers tangling with her own.

“Thane, what have I done?” She clutched at his hand as if it were a lifeline. “This plan makes no sense. An ancient Prothean machine? Why is everyone willing to die for this?”

“What you have done is given us hope, and a fighting chance.”

“No, there must have been something else I could have done.”

“You have done enough.” Thane said gently, as he pulled her to her feet, ignoring her protests. “You must allow events to play out as they will.”

Anger flared, bright and hot, in her stomach. “You don't know that. What if the Crucible doesn't even work? What if we missed something? What if I missed something?”

“You have not.”

“Why are you so calm about this?” Normally she found Thane's faith endearing, but now it made her want to scream in frustration. He can't think there would be a happy ending. Fuck, she was so tired. It felt like her life was already starting to drain away.

“Because you have given me hope. Come.” Thane led her to the couch, settling them so they were facing each other. He took her hands and locked his gaze with hers. She couldn't help the shiver that raced up her spine. It was so intimate when Thane looked at her like that. It was a horrible cliche, but it really did feel like he was gazing directly at her soul.

Suddenly ashamed at her anger, she squeezed his hand. Why was she taking her weakness out on him? She started to apologize, but Thane shook his head and smiled.

“I once accepted my fate. Nothing remained but a shell destined to die. I only had to choose the when and how of my passing. I had refused to be confined to a bed, gasping horribly as my life beeped away to machinery I had no use for. I thought of Irikah, broken, bloodied, and betrayed by my absence. Of Kolyat, small and afraid, bravely pushing at his eyes to stem the flow of tears I had entrusted to him to cry... for both our sakes.”

The room swam as tears filled her own eyes. Thane had been through so much, and come so far. It made her heart ache for all those years he had been alone.

“The expectation to move swiftly to my end vanished upon meeting you. My heart quickened its sluggish beat if only to remain at your side and protect you with everything that I am. I do not know what will happen in these final days, but I will take the time left to us, and praise all I know for allowing me to walk them at your side. And I will do so with the joyful certainty that I am worthy of more than cold isolation, solely because you believed.”

A sob escaped her as Thane let go of her hands to cup her face. “I love you. If all else whispers back into the tide, know this for fact.”

_Oh, Thane_. “You make me feel like I can do anything. I love you too. So much.” Her voice came out a whisper. “Sometimes I wish I had your faith, I really do.”

Thane smiled again as she caught one of his hands. The other brushed away her tears. “Then I will believe enough for the both of us.”

For a moment she was torn between exasperation and love. With a shake of her head, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lip. _Okay. We'll do this your way_.

Faith, hope, and a fighting chance? The Reaper's wouldn't know what hit them.


End file.
